Self, from CS103

after spending one whole day studying 103: Intro to Electronic and Broadcast Communication, i'm in a daze. searching high n low for info to enrich myself rather than noting down all possible arguments is taking up a lot of precious time. i tink i'm not exam smart. if there's one thing tt i'll take away fr studyin for CS mods in e past 2 sems, it'd b an increased awareness of current affairs, esp wrt Singapore. In particular, all tis blog-surfing and article / info search has whittled wadeva abreastness i ever felt abt domestic news n issues. i now truly repent my apathy n ignorance. tis goes right down to e un-objective reporting of local papers (Q1 growth of 9%!! wow. check out other reports n u realise it's 1-2%..). of cos, there's a lot more to it than juz tis.

i'm not saying i can now tell objectivity from subjectivity. in fact, i've realised, more than ever, tt i'm truly incapable of doin so. And tt to put forward a convincing n comprehensive point of an argument, a lot of effort muz b put in to research on it. n when u r willing n able to do so, u draw e admiration of others, not for who u r, but wad u speak n wad u stand for.

21 goin on 22.. i feel so much a pdt of e successful education system. doesn't help tt i'm a not-here-not-there type of person. wad do i mean? i mean i like n play sports but dun excel in them; i'm supposed to b fr elitist schs but e quality of my work is totally un-elitist-becoming; i like doin hands-on stuff n hate writing reports but i seem to not get gd grades for both.

not here, not there.

well, but i've seemingly discovered a lot abt myself in tis past uni yr than i'd ever realise abt myself. so when u hear me say sth negative abt myself, dun reply "oh pls, if u can say it, it shows u noe n u wun do it". it doesn't realli apply to me... it juz happens tt i'm so objective in judgin myself, it appears incredible. den again, i noe wad i'm not gd / bad / downright suck at; but i duno wad i'm gd at. e ol' sikeng will say "hence, i conclude tt i'm not gd at anything!".

e current sikeng shall say "well, hopefully time will tell. i wan to noe tt i'm gd at sth. n i hope it's not sth negative." amen? amen. in ur god's name. peace.