Stupidity 1, SiKeng 0

SCI lost to NIE. We din play badly, frankly speaking. tink e cards were nicely distributed hence they couldn't come up with smashing stunts n high scoring games. Aniwae, it didn't matter cos we were there to lose aniwae.

But i am upset with myself once again. i nv fail to surprise myself w unbelievable mistakes tt Sherlock Holmes will find difficulty in describing, since Elementary is too kind a word. how e hell can a cold 3NT end up with a down one?? only sikeng can do it. i swear only sikeng has e ability n magical power to do it. i freaking swear.

n i also realise tt ppl dun understand me. i admit tt sometimes, i get too caught up in my desire to win tt i cannot accept loss. but honestly, such times haf gone. i haf grown used to losing. i may not b a gracious loser, like some ppl believe tt elite sch students shld learn to, but i'm nv e one to argue e shit out of a loss. i admit defeat so readily, u'll b questioning whether i haf any sense of fighting spirit. for tt matter, i do.

but i cannot accept myself making stupid mistakes. my fren say everytime i lose, i become v negative. if i were more vulgar, i'd say f off. i dun need consolation. but i dun need u to tell me tt i sink into negativity when i lose. bcoz tt's not true. i dun mind losing 16-81 in a bball match to NBS. i dun mind losing on penalty flicks to Hall 5 hockey team when we were realli juz one flick away from advancing. wad i do mind is my innate n inherent ability to make stupid mistakes to worsen e loss.

tokkin to jie n yi, i guess i noe y ppl tink i'm like a sore loser. cos i complain a bit more abt my mistakes when i'm on e losing side. but when on e winning side, i disclose my mistakes less, even possible tt i almost din make mistakes (which mabe is linked to y i'm on e winning side aniwae). in short, i dun disclose a lot. prob it's in e tone too. i dun try to act happy when i'm not happy. u tink i shld? make ppl happier too. could indirectly make me happier too, since i gotta act it aniwae..

u tink i shld juz withdraw sad stuff fr ppl juz so tt ppl tink i'm happy? quite cool rite. lidat i shld set up another blog for myself to read where i curse n swear my heart out.

but lidat my hong yan zi ji will become blogspot. perhaps not v ideal.